home | contact

Message from Joel Moore

Living awake

By Joel Moore

Depression. Loneliness. Hatred. Turmoil. From suffering there is an awakening. A newness. When we suffer we trudge through muck we sometimes don’t want to.

When we experience a loss, we are shaken and often become aware of life. Death. Unemployment. Divorce. A cancer diagnosis. The moment we step on to this new cobblestone path, we are different. Itís difficult to find our footing. All these increments in time are different. We are reshaped.

What would happen if we became aware of life around us before the suffering or loss? What if we were to live awake? Be present in each moment? Unclutter our lives before circumstances force us to change.

During my days as a bedside nurse, I often would pull up a chair next to patients who were broken in spirit. “Joel,” they would say, “Why did this happen?” My job was to be present and listen. I believe there are not always answers to every question or explanations for every imponderable event.

The question of “why” often brings me back to Christ on the cross. Moments before Jesus gave up his spirit he cried, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus knew the plan that God had for his life. He lived this plan fully. At the last moment of life he still called out to God, “Why?”

I think that Christ called out the “why” from the cross not for himself but for us. There are times I question just like Jesus. I can relate to this story of suffering with the question of “why” not being answered.

When we hit these moments of personal turmoil, often we stop and are forced to live in the mystery. We start living in the world of ifs, should have, what about when, and remember the time.
After these moments in life, we are changed.

Sometimes we choose to live into the muck and get stuck in the pain. Other times we reflect on the moment and quickly move on. Either way, we become changed. Our lives are transformed.

Some of you are saying: “This is a lot of gloom and doom,î or ìIíve never experienced something like that before.”

I think that we can live awake in the ordinary.

The other day I was having a conversation with a couple of friends. I could tell they were totally engaged in what I was saying. They were actually listening! Our conversation turned toward living awake. “Joel,” they said, “We are working very hard at living into every moment. We are trying to be fully present with every conversation and interaction.”

How hard is that?

I know it’s a struggle for me to live awake. Live in the moment. Be fully present.

When I’m out for dinner with a friend, my cell phone is always in reach. That little beep or vibration comes through the airways and says I have a new text message. It is really easy for me to dip out on the moment with my dinner friend and see what that message says. This is a challenge.

I want to choose to live awake, knowing that each moment and each interaction is a gift from God. When the ickyness of life comes my way, I will live through the turmoil and realize that on the other side of the event there is still life. Life to be lived fully and awake.

I will be changed by life, but I will choose to live awake.

— Joel Moore, director of faith formation,

  ::